Lyrics:The Joy Of Your World

by MC Paul Barman

My brain makes the earth dark but I'm hung like a birthmark I like to suck toes, yours secrete fructose I make paintings based on grids just like Chuck Close I'm old school like Aztecs but new in other aspects If you want sex with me, be prepared for bad sex and slapstick Even Chapstick won't help my chapped dick When I'm with a naked chick I use a faker dick A turkey baster laced with Elmer's to make it stick My ex fled to Reykjavik, we really were trying "Ohhh you're so wet", "My pussy's crying" I need an eye exam and a vagina with no diaphragm Or condom, I'm pond scum, I'm going to buy a lamb And when we make love I'll picture titty humping Which looks like a Venn Diagram Ewww, this isn't dope I feel like I'm pissing Scope Lamby's a misanthrope I asked her to stop moving, does she listen? Nope. The sheep was a clone so I was a creep on the phone Now I'm sleeping alone With her photo on my nightstand in a sepia tone Oh yeah and you know that...  "Paul Bar-Bar-Barman" The joy of your world is Paul Barman! Beautiful, Beautiful Barman Yes the joy of your world is Paul Barman! Beautiful, Beautiful Barman After this rap I'll be in Napoli, happily Proposing to my chosen under an apple tree "Let's get married," I don't walk, I get carried By a motorcade of voter-age women on rollerblades In cute sleeveless shirts exposing their shoulder blades But I'm a lonely guy since my honeypie ran off with Ione Skye Now I've got nothing whatsoever, ugly, broke, arrogant, but so clever When I write rhymes on brown bags and in shower steam Me and Paul are the power team We'll leave you deflowered with a mouth full of sour cream Gobble this obelisk  "Paul Bar-Bar-Barman"

The joy of your world is Paul Barman! Beautiful, Beautiful Barman Yes the joy of your world is Paul Barman! Beautiful, Beautiful Barman My close pals, aunts, uncles, leaders, Nations, and towns Hamlets and neighboring islands, everyone Landlords, bosses, and relatives, moms and newborns Somehow when I act thirteen, I'm a virgin girl's tractor beam This one was dressed to kill from her head to my testicle She was from west of Phil-ly and spoke well of it She said, "Just for the hell of it let's not be celibate." I got all higgledy piggledy, it's a big relief When I take off my fig uh leaf She said that, "Let's get at this" but her cat and an unpotted cactus Sat on her mattress that sure made it saturated with sharp thorns and cat piss I put on a hiphop beat while she whipped off the topsheet She said, "Come to bed I like my undergrads underfed They amaze how they stay up days on mayonnaise and Wonderbread." I dove in her cervix a lot like Sir Mixalot This interlude is for the women I've interviewed about the clitoris and how to make it less hit-or-miss Should we be gentle? Is it all mental? I won't use a dental dam 'cause it discourages my urges to submerge in her jizz She said, "My goodness you should just use clues that's nonverbal You're too vigorous if my clitoris, for example, turns purple" It was time to copulate but we didn't want to populate So my bold groin reached for my gold coin prophylactic I unwrapped it, you can't know how I felt It wasn't a gold coin condom, it was chocolate Chanukah gelt The white part crumbled on her tummy and the rest began to melt Foiled again.....  "It's a classic piece, It's a classic piece, It's a classic piece We'd like to thank George for that and also Paul Bar-Bar-Barman, Bar-Barman Barman-Barman-Barman, and also Paul Bar-Bar-Barman, Bar-Bar-Barman, Paul Bar-Bar-Barman, From Chapel Hill Who made the contribution of 5 dollars Thanks Charles, I mean pardon me Paul, Charles took the pledge, no doubt"